How is your relationship?
YES or NO – I am afraid of my spouse/partner.
YES or NO – I cannot express my anger or my opinion for fear of my spouse/partner’s reaction.
YES or NO – I must always ask my spouse/partner for permission to see family or friends, spend money, or buy something for myself.
YES or NO – I sometimes feel numb inside.
YES or NO – I try and try to please my spouse/partner only to find that my efforts still do not please him.
YES or NO – I am confused about the differences in the way my spouse/partner views our relationship and the way I see it.
YES or NO – I often feel totally alone.
YES or NO – I am beginning to believe all the terrible things my spouse/partner says about me. Sometimes I am not sure what is real anymore. Maybe I’m going crazy.
How do you feel about what is happening to you? Begin to trust your instincts about your situation. If you feel that you are being emotionally and/or physically abused, you are probably right. If you aren’t sure, but answered “yes” to most of the questions above, you are probably a victim of your spouse/partner’s abusive behavior.
Identifying yourself as a victim does not mean that you are to blame for what is happening in any way. Identifying yourself as a victim does not mean that you must leave the situation immediately. Your safety is what you should be most concerned about.
– Adapted from Breaking the Silence booklet, Nebraska Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Coalition.