To My New Partner: 10 Things I Wish I Could Tell You

Dating after abuse is not easy. It’s hard for survivors to know what is and isn’t abuse and to be able to open up to their new partner. It’s critical that anyone who has a relationship with a domestic violence survivor is patient and understanding. Don’t be afraid to have heavy conversations with them and really find out their triggers and other emotions.

  1. I really do like you but I may become distant and isolated because it seems safer that way but it’s also lonely.
  2. Loud noises and voices startle me. I’m not scared, I’ve been in past abusive relationships.
  3. I may seem sensitive when I speak to you with a broken voice, it’s because my voice never mattered to anyone else.
  4. I wish I could let my emotions flow like a river; free and unbound but I don’t want to scare you away.
  5. I’m just like anyone else. I like to have a good time and be around people. However, I may become sensitive to what is around me. A little girl and her father bonding or how a husband holds his wife’s hand; protecting her from anything around her. I see beauty in the things I never had.
  6. I want to disagree with your opinion but I don’t like confrontation and don’t want to cause problems so I just keep it to myself.
  7. I have so many bottled up emotions. It feel like I’m breaking from inside out. All you see is my beautiful smile and sense of humor. That’s me stuffing it down and deflecting.
  8. Even when I’m in crowds, I feel alone.
  9. I feel like a doormat to society but deep down I’m really strong.
  10. I have open wounds that I’m working to heal. Please be my peace. I need you to have patience with me.

By: LaResa Hannon